Perfectly broken heads

This is a statue that my mom gave us when we had our first baby. Tonight the dad's head broke off (for the second time) after Natalie, smiling up at me, threw it to the ground. As I crazy glued the head back on, and saw the previous breaking point, the perfectionist in me that used to re-copy her notes in high school whispered, "I'll have to get another one of these some day--that doesn't have any break marks on it."

But before that thought had even really materialized, I chuckled to myself and thought, "Why would I want to replace something that so perfectly represents parenthood?!" Not exactly "perfect" every day, but still wonderful.

Today, I felt like MY head was breaking off a few times, and unfortunately it really was Natalie's day for breaking heads. Water all over the kitchen floor from the refrigerator (about 6 towels to mop it up), cutting her hair with scissors, running away over and over and over again at Wal Mart (I am giving up Wal Mart fan status) until I really couldn't find her (she turned up at the princess sunglasses), and then another 30 minutes of screaming so piercing that I really couldn't hear out of either ear for a little while, when she did not get her way. Sound still seems a bit muffled.

Once again Elder Wirthlin..."come what may and love it." And boy do I love Natalie. Even when it does not seem like a perfect day, and when it seems like my kids must be the most out-of-control kids out there, if I am honest with myself, I am still so grateful to be a mom. There is nothing better.

I look at my dear statue where the parents look lovingly at their sweet baby even with a broken head and I laugh again. That is just the way it is. And now my statue is perfect.

You are brave

I took the kids to the zoo today...alone.

As I entered the zoo, carrying a baby in the bjorn, pushing a double stroller, and following two kids running around (they of course had insisted on getting out of the stroller as soon as we got into the zoo), a woman sitting in the shade, sipping a cold drink looked up at me and said, "You are brave." I replied, "Or crazy."

But I started thinking about her comment. Am I brave? In some ways I did feel brave today. I faced a fear. I haven't really tackled zoo-like outings by myself with my three little ones since James came along.

I used to take Andrew to the zoo all the time. And after Natalie, we went at least once or twice a month. But since having number three, I have become something of a homebody. I didn't think that would ever happen, but when I would think about getting everybody out the door and then having to deal with everything where we were going, home sounded like a great place to be. The exception has been going with somebody else. I guess I felt more comfortable with reinforcements...even if they had their own kids. At least I could chase after a stray and know the others were being watched by somebody friendly. Plus, I found after number 3 that I also felt like I needed the company!!

But I also found that I missed going with just me and the kids. When we go somewhere fun with others, I'm always more interested in my conversation than with playing with my kids. So today I decided to face my apprehensions and just go for it--me and the three kids at the zoo.

And it was wonderful. Our first stop was the bathroom. A bathroom made just for us--one of those family bathrooms with a little toilet, a big toilet, a changing table, a little sink and a big sink. We used it all. We were in there for a long time, but I don't think the lady waiting outside even minded when she saw us all emerge. I think she was thinking, "Thank goodness they had that bathroom for that lady."

We walked around looking at the animals, stopping to play when the urge hit, and my kids had my undivided attention. And really, it wasn't hard at all.

I looked up "brave" in the dictionary and it said "courageous." Nice. So I looked up "courageous" and read, "implies consciously rising to a specific test by drawing on a reserve of inner strength."

In so many ways that really does describe being a mother. I have never felt like I was reaching for inner strength more. And I guess one of my fears has been whether I have a reserve of inner strength. But I continue to discover that I can do more than I think I can do. Not ever perfectly and sometimes not even well, but I can do it. And that has been one of the greatest blessings of being a mother and one that I have seen magnified with each child...that I am pushed to what I think are my limits and realize that I can go even farther than I thought. So when the next hard day comes along, I remember the last time I didn't think I could do it, but did, and then it's not quite as hard.

Nice is better than true

Andrew is signed up for a sports class through our town Rec classes. He loves it and his ball skills actually seem to be improving. (Yes, he has "skills") Usually he does just fine in the class. His good friend Jonah is in the class with him and Thursday we were planning on bringing Jonah home with us.

I was sitting in the atrium area of the Rec Center playing with Natalie and watching some kids climb the rock wall. Suddenly, I hear a loud voice echoing throughout the entire Rec Center say, "Would the parents of Andrew Garner please come to the counter." It took a few times before I realized that yes, I was the parent referred to.

I gathered Natalie and James up and headed over to the counter where I was informed that there had been an "incident" in the class and I needed to talk to the teacher. We headed down the narrow hallway to the raquetball court where they hold the class.

I opened the door and there was Andrew pouting in a corner. The teacher said he had asked Andrew not to kick the basketball several times and when he continued to kick it, the teacher took the ball away. That started the tantrum and antagonizing the other kids in the class.

So, I took Andrew into the hall, sat him on the bench and asked him what happened. He was crying and continued to repeat in a voice I could barely understand, "I want my ball!" We talked about how certain behaviors result in certain consequences, blah, blah, blah I'm sure to him. He calmed down enough that I thought we would try the class again. But when I opened the door, Andrew started screaming and crying again because they were done with the basketballs. So I quickly closed the door and we were back on the bench.

You are wondering why I didn't just leave. Well, remember our cute friend that was coming home with us? He was really enjoying the class and there were still 15 minutes left.

So, Andrew and I got to wait it out in the hall. And he never stopped crying. Or really screaming for that matter. And between wails, I was chasing Natalie around too.

It was another banner-mother-moment.

Soon enough, the class was over, and Jonah came out really needing to use the bathroom. So the 5 of us raced through the hall to the bathroom and as I'm trying to get the boys into the bathroom as fast as I can, Natalie stops at the drinking fountain and won't budge. So as I race back to grab her, one of the ladies who was waiting in the hall and got to hear our entire 15 minutes of scream, approaches me and says, "You are an amazing mom."

I look at her and say, "Really?"

She says, "You are so patient."

And I just want to say, Thank You!!! to her. What a thoughtful, nice person. In the midst of a tough moment, she said a kind thing and that made a world of difference. It didn't matter if it was true, just that she cared enough to even think to say it. Thank you!!

Rules for Three under Three

Rule 1 of having three kids three and under: Do NOT take all three to Wal Mart...EVER.

I am usually very mindful of this rule and almost never break it. But this morning I needed eggs and milk--some basics that we couldn't do without today. Soooo, after Andrew's sports class and taking James and Andrew to their dr's appointments, I thought I would "stop by" Wal Mart on the way home.

Things started off pretty well. I (actually Andrew should get the credit) found a dry cart with the two-seater attached (yes, it is actually raining here today!). The two-seater attachment makes the cart big and bulky and a little crazy to maneuver through the aisles, but there are two seats with seat belts, yes, seat belts and I can still rest the car seat over the usual kid-sitting place and so I am left with the entire cart space for things like Ben and Jerry's ice cream, eggs and milk. What a luxury.

James was great the entire trip. Poor kid got 3 shots at the dr's office, so he just sat in his car seat and enjoyed the ride. Natalie and Andrew actually sat in their seats for the first part of the trip, and then Andrew wanted to get out and "help." He helped by "pushing" the big, unruly cart (mostly around in circles), by adding extra cans of things when I wasn't looking, and by telling me that we "meeded" (he uses "m" for "n") Cars sippy cups or $5 mini watermelons. But that was all in good fun, so the trip was still going smoothly. Natalie wanted to get out and "help" also, but miraculously the seat belt held her in.

In fact, I started to think that Rule 1 might need to be deleted from the Three under Three handbook (Oh, if you ever find that handbook, PLEASE let me know). But then we got to the checkout line.

Andrew was still in his helpful mode and he started helping me unload the cart. It all was going great until we got to the eggs. I had a container of 18 large eggs--you know, the wobbly, cardboard containers that you don't want your 3 year old boy tossing onto the checkout counter. So I told him he could put the yogurt on the counter, but that mom was going to get the eggs. He really wanted to get the eggs and threw a little fit. I again told him to find something else and not to mess with the eggs. I had already put them on the conveyer belt and he reached his little fingers up, grabbed them and slammed them down.

Nothing broke. But, we are really working on obedience with that kid. He tries to make his own rules (imagine that) for everything and I have not always been as consistent as I should. In trying to be consistent, I explained that I had asked him not to do that and he had done it anyway so he would have to get in the cart for a minute. So, I put him in the cart. That is when he started screaming and kicking and trying to climb out of the cart. By this time, Natalie had managed to weasel out of her seat belt.

Andrew continued to throw a screaming tantrum as I finished checking out. I could hardly hear the woman at the register. I just nodded my head and smiled at anything she said. The cart was full of white plastic bags and Andrew had his leg slung over the cart and scared himself a few times as he almost fell out.

Natalie was being so quiet this whole time. I looked over at her and there she was, eating a Cadbury Cream Egg. The wrapper was on the floor. I just started laughing. I picked up the wrapper and speaking loudly so the checkout lady could hear me over Andrew's screams, I said, "Looks like the quiet one has been stealing candy." She was nice enough to laugh. I'm still laughing about it.

I guess Rule 1 is still a good one to live by. Unfortunately, I realized I forgot the top-priority light bulbs as I was leaving the parking lot. I think I'll wait until I can go with just 2.

No prizes to this mom!

Well, I'm still not in the running for mother-of-the-year and this morning confirmed it. It is just crazy getting my three little kids in the car to go anywhere. First there is the getting dressed battle. Either I am dressing them for the first time, or I got them dressed several hours ago, but they have managed to take off shoes, socks, pants or all of the above and so I have to re-dress them. Andrew supposedly can get himself dressed, but really he is the hardest one. Natalie runs away, but when I catch her she is pretty compliant. Sometimes she puts up a fight on what shoes to wear, but I don't always care about that anyway. And she does insist on doing it herself, which sometimes results in a few tears, but she also is pretty good at getting her shoes on herself. Andrew can't break away from whatever he is doing long enough to get his shirt on, or he seems to forget mid-walk that he was heading over to the clothes to put them on and starts playing with whatever toy he has on hand. James is usually just as sweet as can be, but he seems to need a new diaper about ever hour or so and has required a complete outfit change a time or two right when we're heading out the door.

So, by the time we get out to the car I'm feeling frazzled and usually a little or a lot frustrated. This morning was no different. Usually I manage to get the kids in the car, then I go back inside for my purse, and anything else I need to get. Today we were trying to get Andrew to a sports class by 9am and we were pushing it to get there on time. I finally managed to get the kids buckled and I ran back into the house for my purse and hooter hider (love that thing!) I ran back out to the car and started backing out of the garage at breakneck speed when Natalie pipes up, "a get baby James!!" Yep. I had forgotten the baby...in the garage.

My usual method is to put James (in his carseat) down on the garage floor right when I walk into the garage, get the older two in the car and then come back and put James in the car. Well today I got the older two in, went back inside and then got in the car without putting poor James in. I was that frazzled. The good news is he was never in harms' way. He was on the step up in FRONT of the car. I can't even imagine if I had put him down to the side of the car. I stopped the car, got out and there was James still waiting peacefully in his carseat by the door.

Thanks to Natalie for saving the day. I am so glad she is so observant!!

Surprisingly fun sick day

So, we are all sick. Natalie had pink eye and double ear infection in Utah, John went in for an ear infection when we got back from Utah, Andrew has strep and an ear infection (he had a 104.3 temperature the other night!), and I don't know what I have. I feel stiff and achy and have a ear-nose-throat thing going on. James was showing signs of pink eye, but we immediately put the medicine on and his eyes are looking good.

Today is a stay-at-home day (except for John who left for work at about 5am--what a guy!). Andrew just barely started the antibiotic last night so were are self-quarantined--we can't go anywhere. That can sometimes mean a very very long day. But we have actually had a really great morning. And I'm writing this now because everything may have changed by 5:00 tonight ;-)

It is an absolutely gorgeous day today. In my opinion, it is the perfect temperature--not too hot, not too cold with a very very slight breeze blowing every once in a while. It's the kind of day you go outside and take a deep breath in through your nose and feel a little lift. My sister-in-law called to see if we wanted to go to the park. That was the perfect activity for today, but of course, not an option for us unless we wanted to expose all the other kids. But we have been playing in the backyard all morning--even James. We jumped on the trampoline, played in the dirt with tracks, shovels and cars, ate a picnic lunch outside, made silly shadow people, and my favorite.....ate our first oranges off our tree!! Well, I think they are oranges. I can't remember which tree is the tangelo tree and which tree is the orange tree...but they were pretty good and it was great to eat something growing in our backyard. It was just a great morning and it really felt so great to be on the ground outside with my kids. Some days I just feel like I'm trying to get them out of the way so I can get the "real stuff" done. It was great to remember today that they are the "real stuff" and it is so worth it to take some time to play and laugh with them. So I guess sick was good for me and my little kiddos.
About the pictures: Natalie has her waif style hair that just cracks me up--we're not planning on going anywhere! And miracle of miracles, I got Andrew to look at the camera and smile at the same time!!