Celebrating motherhood

It is that time of year.

To celebrate the opportunity to be a mother.

Last year I tried to change my focus on that day. In the past, it has been a frustrating day, where expectations may not have been met. You know, those low expectations that include the most amazing day I have ever experienced, no fighting, perfect children, a husband who also sides as a gourmet chef. Unbelievably, I have yet to sit in a soft chair all day while everyone waits on me, fixes delicious food, and feeds it to me off a silver platter.

So last year I decided to make it a day of celebration. To celebrate my kids and my role as a mother. I had no expectations. I tried to celebrate the opportunities I had to mother my children and perform the normal daily tasks I perform as a mother. I made an effort to spend the day WITH my kids and not trying to escape them. Not to say I did not enjoy the cards, the yummy breakfast, and the efforts to make me feel special. I loved it. But I was not expecting it.

That is the key to many things for me. Lower my expectations.

This year has included a special opportunity. I decided to enter a video contest for The Power of Moms website. Which led me to really think about the blessing it is to be a mother. And has really helped to put me in the mood to celebrate being a mom this Sunday.

I have made it to the final two videos and need your votes to win! Click on the link below and vote for "I am a Mother."

http://powerofmoms.com/categories/nurture-yourself/images-of-motherhood/cast-your-vote-for-our-video-contest.html

Sometimes...

Sometimes it stinks when you have to clean the melted blue crayon out of the dryer

AND

clean up the following mess made by your 2-year-old before you can go to bed:

1 package of wipes pulled out all over the floor,

1/2 tube of toothpaste in bathroom sink,

roll of toilet paper in toilet,

clogged toilet caused by roll of toilet paper,

water all over bathroom floor from overflowed toilet,

wet wads of toilet paper taken from toilet and stuck to bathroom wall and floor.

I do think he had a good time.

And it's a good thing he is so cute.

I think I'll wait until tomorrow to tackle the clothes with melted crayon on them.

WalMart highlight

The three who make WalMart an interesting experience every time

We went to WalMart today.  

The highlight of the trip (it really is so hard to pick ONE) was when we had left the store and I was herding us and the full cart across the street to our car.

And our super-helpful cashier came running out after us.  He was yelling and holding up a baby stroller that was holding Natalie's dog Frenchy.  The stroller that Natalie takes everywhere these days.  Even to WalMart.

"Thank you!" I said amidst the cashier's heavy breathing and the spectators' chuckles.

I unloaded the kids and stuff into the car, got in and just started to laugh.

I realized later that the stroller contained unpaid merchandise in the lower pocket.  We may have stumbled on to the perfect shoplifting scheme.  Too bad that's not really our style.  No, instead it's back to WalMart.

I just love James' face here.  He just doesn't miss anything that those older ones do.  

Feeling guilty about feeling guilty

As I turn the corner to my last month of pregnancy, things are not looking that great.  Not that they aren't great.  I'm just suddenly having a hard time seeing the great.  And the biggest culprit...guilt.

I feel guilty that I'm tired (after not being able to sleep most of the night).  

I feel guilty that my kids watched a movie instead of having some amazing learning experience with me all afternoon.

I feel guilty that I didn't cook dinner every night last week.

I feel guilty that I'm not on a regular exercise schedule.  That I'm not running a 10K 9 months pregnant.

I feel guilty that my bathrooms aren't as clean as they should be and that I have laundry that still needs to be folded.

I feel guilty that I'm not as patient with my kids lately.

I feel guilty that I'm not out extending myself to others more.

I feel guilty that I actually might need help myself.

And then the clincher...I feel guilty that I feel guilty.

Do you want some guilt with that meal?  Can you even believe it?! 

Logically I know that I am going to have a baby in a few weeks, I have three other young kids that require all of my time and energies during the day, and my husband has a job that requires full days and occasional travel and is going to school which requires every other weekend and some nights.

But why should that matter, right?  I should have unlimited positive energy.  I should wake up like a shot every morning excited and ready for the day.  Children's demands, messes, fighting and whining should bounce off me as I sing and laugh my way through the day.  

I mean, isn't that what everyone else does?  They at least have their laundry folded, right?

And the best part is that the more guilt I feel, the less I feel like I can do, and the more guilt I feel.   Crazy.

So tonight I pledge to get rid of the guilt.  I will laugh at my laundry.  I will pretend I'm a monster and roar at the kids if I find myself getting angry.  I will ask for help.  I will offer my help when I can.  I will be grateful that Little Ceasars is such a great deal.  I will let my kids watch a movie and not think twice about it.  

But most importantly, at the end of the day I won't look at all the things I didn't do.  I will look at everything I did do.  Even if it was just getting us dressed and fed.  

Guilt takes too much energy.  And being a little low on that resource right now (I will not feel guilty about not having a lot of energy!), I've got to get rid of the guilt.

Slow down

I have really been feeling like my days consist of me dragging my children from one place to the next. And that means that my days consist of me saying, "Hurry" "Come on!" "Faster" "Please get into the car! (as I wait with the door open) "Please get out of the car!" (as I stand there waiting with my arms full and the door open). Don't be fooled--my use of please does not always mean I use a sugar voice.

The truth is, there is no fast, quick, speedy way to move three little children from place to place.

At least not my children.

Natalie likes to cart 4 stuffed dogs, a purse, a wand, and a crown with her. One thing is always dropping. I have tried to limit the number of things she can take, depending on how hurried we are, but she always manages to slip a few extra things in there. Then they also end up in the car for me to carry inside. Ideally she carries them in, but that also depends on how rushed we are, because it is always just faster to do it myself. Andrew seems to get sidetracked by just about everything. Especially the TV at the gym when I'm trying to get out of there. Ugh. And James, bless his heart, is just as easy as they come, I just have to carry him everywhere.

And it isn't just the running around. It's the fact that if I'm gone all day, when I'm home I have to be cleaning, cooking, cleaning, cooking. So I feel like I am on repeat saying, "Just a minute" "After I'm done...." "Not now..."

If I'm not rushing around, Natalie and her entourage are so cute. And Andrew with his observations, comments, and distractions is sweet. And who wouldn't want to hold James.

So today I slowed it down. After dropping Andrew off at preschool and putting James down for a nap, Natalie and I read books, glued jewels on a crown, worked on letters. After picking Andrew up, we had a lunch that wasn't rushed, made a fort out of couch pillows and read more books. Then later, we got out the finger paints and even made it outside for some bike riding and scooter riding.


What a great day. I actually ENJOYED my children! They were cute and sweet and funny. And instead of reminding them to hurry it along, I laughed and they laughed.

But now I'm faced with the same dilemma I have been thinking about for a while. How do you fit it all in? And what do you cut out? Maybe some days are just crazy, but it's important to fit in the slow ones as well.

And today, I'm glad we slowed down.

What I love (note to self when thinking about things I don't love so much)

I love swimming with my three little kids. (Sometimes I prefer to just swim with two kids, but James loves it so much I feel bad!)

Andrew yells, "canyon ball!" as he does any kind of a jump off the diving board,
then counts 10, 9, 8, 7...down to "BLASTOFF!" and off he goes again.
I love Andrew attempting a flip off the diving board.
Natalie and Andrew trying so hard to do big arms, big kicks. I love the pool.
I love waking up to thunder and lightning, snuggled in my comfy bed.
I love feeding my baby whole wheat bread that I made. And toasting up some for myself with jam that I made.
I love hearing Natalie ask if she can "pep" (pet) the dragonfly when it comes back.
I love my kids' excitement about everything. Except oatmeal. Andrew won't touch it. Unless I put stars on a paper every time he takes a bite.
I love James' huge grin that he gives me from the top of the stairs, waiting for me to see him up there so he can laugh and crawl away.
I love James' fat feet and dimpled hands. I love his two bottom teeth and two top teeth that you can see when he smiles really big.
I love reading books to my kids. One-on-one reading might be the only time I can get any of my kids to sit still and snuggle in my lap.
I love hearing Andrew and Natalie "pretending".
I love little secret whispers in my ear.
I love walking in at night and seeing this:

Chuckling

Things aren't always a bunch of laughs around here if you can believe it. Kids don't move as fast as I want/need them to. Messes are made faster than I can clean them up. Children ignore me as I ask them to please stop, to please do, or "you'd better or else".

But in spite of the kind of day I'm having, there are always countless things that happen that make me chuckle. Even in the middle of ultimate frustration and fatigue, my little kiddos can make me smile and then laugh. And not always intentionally.

So here is a list of some of the things that make me chuckle around here.

1. Backwards underwear
2. Shoes on the wrong feet
3. "I'm big mom" said by Andrew and Natalie. Although the other day Andrew said, "I'm big" and Natalie piped up, "I'm getting 'maller and 'maller."
4. Natalie omitting the first "s" if followed by a consonant. For example: 'nake = snake, 'maller = smaller, 'top=stop, 'mile = smile
5. Natalie's laugh when she really thinks something is funny
6. Andrew's laugh after he says, "How do you spell I?" and I respond "I." He thinks it is the funniest thing ever and asks the question over and over and over.
7. James' laugh when Andrew or Natalie push him in the swing, or smile at him, or try to cover him up with blankets. Sometimes that one turns into a cry or into mom intervening.
8. Andrew cracking up every time Natalie is on a kickboard in the pool and then Natalie joining in.
9. Andrew explaining life to Natalie with his own spin.
10. Natalie walking around in my shoes, Andrew's shoes, dress up shoes, or visitors' shoes.
11. Andrew saying "snement" (cement)
12. The rolls on James's legs.
13. Natalie roaring.
14. Andrew trying to spell every thing like he's in a spelling bee, "g-o, go!"
15. Looking outside and seeing Natalie jumping on the trampoline naked, AGAIN
16. Andrew's shorts lying by the toilet. As soon as he walks in and uses the bathroom his shorts are off for the rest of the day.
17. Natalie saying, "I a pirate" as she covers or closes one eye.
18. Natalie narrating every thing she says and sometimes what others say. She will make a noise, and then say, "Mom, I just said ___, wike dat!" Or she will say, "James said, (make James noise), wike dat!"
19. Overhearing Natalie say, "I wuv you Adew" and Andrew says, "I love you too, Natalie."
20. John swinging the kids around in our Ikea laundry tubes every night after baths.

Yes, I have my hands full

I had to run to WalMart again today (about the 3rd time this week--I always end up needing something else) and got to go with all three kiddies. We parked and entered in the greenhouse/plants area because there are usually less cars parked there and if you check out there, usually you can avoid the longer lines. We crossed the street--I was holding the heavy car seat in one arm and had Natalie's hand in the other, and she was holding Andrew's hand. I was so happy that they would even hold hands to cross the street. They are so independent--when other kids are happily holding their parents' hands, mine are usually saying, "No! I do it myself!"

When we walked into the store, there were the plant carts--double decker, green, flat carts. My kids immediately ran to one and insisted that we use that cart. Actually, I thought it was a pretty good idea--both kids sat with legs outstretched next to each other on the top and James in his car seat fit nicely on the bottom. I didn't have to get much, so there was enough room to stash several items here and there.

We rolled on into the store from the greenery area. I can't even count the number of stares, and yes, there were a few comments as well. First, we were the only GREEN cart in the store. Second, we were the only DOUBLE DECKER cart in the store. And third, I was the only person in there with three kids on one cart (maybe even the only person with three kids).

We were doing a great job pulling the attention to ourselves as it was, even though the kids were doing great and were happy, and then James started crying. He is such a great little baby and doesn't usually cry. He cries because he has a dirty diaper or is hungry--and sometimes because he is the third child and needs a little more attention than he sometimes gets. So this was an "I am hungry and have a dirty diaper" cry. So we hurried up and finished but I felt like I had a spotlight on us as we rushed through the store. People actually moved out of our way--they heard us coming ;-)

It reminded me of a day a week or two ago when I took my kids to play at an outdoor mall playground. I had Natalie in the stroller, Andrew was walking and I was carrying James in the Baby Bjorn. We had gone about 20 feet and already 3 people had commented "You have your hands full!" Everybody we walked by made a comment. I just laughed and thought, you are right--my hands are full!! And some days it feels like they are full of frustration, and messes, and dirty diapers, and kids arguing. And other days it feels like they are full of joy, and excitement at new milestones, and laughter, and love. But my hands are definitely full.

Even as I am writing this during my first free moment of the day, I can hear the little footsteps upstairs as Andrew runs back and forth between the game room and his room. I have miraculously convinced him that a quiet time every afternoon is a good idea. He won't nap, but I really was feeling like a quiet time was good--and he is on board! So he knows he needs to stay in his room, but also needs "one more track" so he keeps running back and forth. I hear the footsteps and then the footsteps and then the door close. So cute. I love the energy and excitement he has.