Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Saying Good-bye for now

John's dad just passed away after battling cancer. And I miss him.

I have cried many times this week and the tears start again as I think about my father-in-law.
And how grateful I am to be a part of his family.

I don't know of many people who crammed more into life than he did.

He was a person who took everything that came his way and celebrated it.


This was in October. He did not feel well, but still came dressed up in funny ears and nose.

Nothing crossed his path without becoming better. When we built our pool, we had used pavers as our decking and as the border around the pool. It looked nice, but the edges were rather rough, so people would often get a scratch or two getting in or out of the pool. So Kent showed up at our house with his grinder and ground down the edges (top AND bottom) of each and every paver around our pool and our spa. And it is not a small pool. And it was very hot outside. But the end result was wonderful.

He was constantly seeking ways to help others and to be better.


He was enthusiastic about everything. We ended up with tickets to the World Series when the D-Backs were in it. John immediately knew he wanted to ask his dad to come to the game because he knew how excited he would be about it. And he was.

He was hard-working. Boy, was he hard-working. I honestly believe that there was not much difference between work and play to him. He derived just as much enjoyment and satisfaction from working hard and accomplishing a task as he did from playing.

When we were putting some dirt in our backyard, Kent and Suzann showed up one afternoon with gloves and a wheelbarrow to help. Andrew grabbed his wheelbarrow and kept pace with Grandpa. I am so glad I have these pictures of my kids "working" with Grandpa.


He was diligent. And I don't know if he gave less than 100% to anything he did...ever.

He loved the gospel and the scriptures and took every chance to share that. And he had a great talent for teaching. He made the scriptures come alive. One of my favorite memories is when we went to visit him and Suzanne in Indiana when they were serving a mission. We stopped to eat somewhere and the waitress was wearing a Star of David necklace. He was always very friendly to everyone, and he started talking with her and explaining that they were missionaries. And somewhere in there he noticed her necklace. As she walked away from the table he called out, "You're Judah, we're Joseph!" I'm sure she didn't have any idea what he was talking about, but I just loved his enthusiasm. He was never afraid to share something that he felt was important.


He could fix anything.

He loved making his yard beautiful.

He was always so excited about each new grandchild.


With Andrew

He was genuinely interested in others. And his family remembers that he would invite people to their home all the time when they were growing up. Many times people he had never met before, but who needed a place to go or somewhere to eat.

The first time I met him was at my parents' home. I was graduating from law school and John's brother Dave was in my class at school. I was not dating John at the time. We had invited some people and families over for food and a graduation "party". I still remember how Kent went out of his way to introduce himself. He was so openly grateful about the invitation, complimenting the party and the food and asking me genuine questions about myself.


These pictures below are from my and John's wedding. I love how they have captured Kent visiting and interacting with others.

With my grandpa Rowberry

He never hesitated to tell you how proud he was of what you were doing. And you never wondered if he cared. He was always interested.

I'm so grateful that I have memories with Kent. That we lived close by.That John is like his dad in so many ways

This is the first time I have felt a death so strongly. All of my grandparents have passed away, but I never lived by any of them and although I loved them, there was not really a hole left when they died. Now I feel a hole. He was a big part of my life for the last 7 1/2 years. Even though he has been pretty sick for over a year and so has not been as involved as before, I still miss him being here. And I'm sure I will miss him again and again. When this new baby is born this summer. When we bless her. When John graduates with his MBA.

I was talking to my sister-in-law and she was saying that this is what the opposition principle is all about. We would not feel the pain if we had not felt the joy. The fact that he was such a wonderful father, grandfather, husband, teacher, person, and father-in-law means that we will feel some pain now that we are missing him.


It is sad to say good-bye. But how grateful I am that it is not good-bye for ever. I am sure we will be reunited with him again. How sweet the gospel message of families and eternity is right now.





23 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am crying. It's wonderful to have pictures, and to focus on the wonderful man he was. I know how hard it is. My prayers have been with you & Jon all week! Hope your kiddos do ok. My kids constantly talk about how excited they are to see Grandpa Bishop again (my dad). Isn't wonderful to know the truth? Love you guys!

Janice said...

Beautiful post.

Sarah said...

what a touching post. you and all the garners are in our prayers. i'm so glad that i got to meet john's dad and witness his enthusiasm with that waitress, that was one of the most memorable moments of our chicago summer. we love you!

Kristine said...

Erika, I'm so sorry to hear about John's Dad. I absolutely hate this disease for what it does to your body, not to mention to friends & loved ones. Before being diagnosed last year I honestly never knew anyone close to me that had it. Now we know WAY too many people & WAY too much about it. You will be in our prayers! We miss you guys! P.S...I still need your address (again)!

Chelsee said...

I'm sitting here crying my eyes out. What a beautiful post. We feel grateful for the time we were able to spend with John's Dad. Those pictures are beautiful. You truly captured his Dad. We are so sad for your loss. He was an amazing man. Thanks for sharing him with us. We will always be grateful for that.

kara jayne said...

Erika...you say it so well. You and your family will FOREVER be blessed. Isn't that the most wonderful thing about the gospel? I'm so glad to know you and your family. They are blessed to have you too.

Linds said...

What a special tribute to a special man. I know you have shared before your love for him. I am sorry and know this must be a difficult time. Wanted to let you know you've been on my mind this week (I'm sure b/c of your birthday too) and I'm sorry I haven't taken the time to call. I'll touch base with you this next week. Love you both and will be thinking of you.

Amy G. said...

Erika, very touching and wonderful tribute to your father in law. Please call if I can do anything at all.

Lena said...

Your post made me wish that I had known him! Hope you are having fun with your family.

Jen Frost said...

Beautiful post, I have tears in my eyes. What a wonderful example he is to your family. I know he will be missed.

Tanner Family said...

John,

We're so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. You and your family will be in Ashley's and my prayers.

Sean & Ashley Tanner

Laura said...

What a absolutely wonderful post. You really shared the essence of him and his life so well. It was inspiring. I found myself with tears in my eyes and wanting to be more of that kind of person. Thank you!

You will be in my thoughts and prayers, its such a huge loss. ((HUGS))

Jen said...

Erika - This was just beautiful!! I love you!!

lesueur family said...

Sounds like he was a wonderful, wonderful man,full of life and love.I love reading your blog, you really now how to word everything just right. Such sweet pictures of him.

jennie said...

Hi Erika, I 've been think about you lately. I am so sorry for you and John and the rest of the family. What a wonderful life. Your post brought many thoughts (and tears) back to mind. Love you.

Laura said...

E-
I was so sad to hear the news. What an amazing patriarch he was on this earth to you and John and his whole family. I remember him working so hard on your backyard, and particularly your pool. He really was an amazing person. You did a great job in writing about him. I love you.
Laura

Peterson Family said...

What a beautiful legacy he has left behind. I enjoyed your post and reading all the wonderful and touching memories you have of him with your family. What a blessing it is to have so many pictures of him with you and your kids as well. I am so sorry for the heartache you and your family are feeling right now. You are right... as amazing as he was, it explains why he is so painfully missed.

April Cobb said...

Inspiring, E. The pictures tell the story themselves. He was happy, loving, sweet, and made everyone around him want to be a better person. I miss him already, and I never knew him.

Lenna said...

What a beautiful tribute to a life beautifully lived. I love this scripture "thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die."(D&C 42:45) It's that we love so much in this life that I'm grateful for.

Heaps Crew said...

Erika,
I am so sorry to just be learning of your father-in-law's passing. You sure gave a touching and heart felt tribute to his life and his impact in your life. What an amazing legacy for your children. Again, I am sorry for the loss you are feeling. I look forward to being with you in person soon.

Erin said...

I've been thinking about you. I'm so glad you have so many beautiful pictures and memories of him. Share them with your children all the time. I love you!

Flake Family said...

What an awsome tribute to his life. It does explain so much about John being the way he is. John was the first one to walk down and welcome us to the ward when we first moved in. It does sound like he is a lot like his Dad. You are a lucky women and John is a lucky man. I loved the pictures of the kids helping Grandpa in the yard. Time is so important, I wish my kids saw their Grandparents more often. In your post I could feel your saddness missing him while at the same time I could see your smile through the memories. You are so good at telling your feelings. Thanks for sharing them.

Heather S said...

This was a beautiful post. What a fine man. I wish I could live close to those I love....I believe it is worth the hole you feel when they are gone.

My love to you both.